When driving a jeep at the fastest possible speed, you may notice a big red skull and crossbones icon appearing on the right of your screen. This means that a witch is chasing you and you've got to get out of there as soon as possible or else she'll throw her level 34 skeleton at you! Look for a small, round, black teleporter which will magically whisk you away to a beautiful new location, usually about 40 meters straight up. If one of your teammates decides to kill you while traveling there, be sure to punish them, because it's not your goddamn fault a witch was chasing you and you tried to escape. War is hell, soldier!

That Jet is Your Jet! - Battlefield 2 comes with an advanced, technologically breathtaking feature which allows players to virtually "claim" a vehicle they want. You accomplish this by saying "GET OUT OF MY PLANE YOU FUCKER" repeatedly when somebody boards a jet you really want to pilot. You can claim any vehicle you want, but there's really no point in reserving any vehicle besides the jet or attack chopper because, really, those two are so awesome and you look like a real badass when you're flying them at 800 miles an hour into the side of a mountain while typing in racial slurs and trying to punish people for team kills they haven't committed quite yet.

Then drive the vehicle straight into a large body of water or off a cliff while honking the horn like a retarded burn victim. Of course the chances of somebody on a public server not punishing you for a team kill are like one hundred billion infinity to -10, so remember to get really angry at them and inform them they're "spic nigger wop chink fags" when the inevitable occurs. This helpfully lets them know they are spic nigger wop chink fags.