Yarr The Pirate! :: View topic

http://yarrthepirate.com/v-web/bulletin/bb/viewtopic.php?t=6069

i can usually come up with some good material on my own. However its usually at my expense.

Meaning i make fun of myself.

Jokes only die when they stop being told. Long jokes usually aren't very good re-told so I try to keep them short and sweet.

Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.

and, most importantly,

Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.

............

Someone decided to have a costume party, but it had a theme: the guests had to dress up as feelings.

..............as the guests are arriving, one walks up to the front door. He has an erection with a tire hanging off of it.

...

The host is appalled, "What the hell are you dressed as?"

[spoiler]I'm fuckin despair[/spoiler]

I think better Nate than lever deserved better than the 5th reply.

I'm sure he meant in an actual movie theatre.

When did AT&T start offering that?

Also, if you text a lot, get prepared for $200+ phone bills until you get unlimited.

I won't lose any sleep over 24.

So how do you decide if you have both systems?

I want to order those for in advance when I move to AZ

Are the stage downloads free or are they going to rip you off like PSN/Xbox market place?

The fact that it's so impossible to do, it's not surprising you get random theories like that.

Way to necro, fag.

All we've been using my PS3 for is bluray and DVDs

Damn, hope that sale is still going on.

DS is region free.

You bastards and with your better dollars these days thinking you're all that.

I'm sad that I can't get the 5 free bluray movies because I bought a used PS3. -_-

Clean that up and it'd be awesome

I still haven't opened my PS3, guess I'm going to have to wait til next year.

How come the GH3 controller works on the 360 then?

you actually spent the time to search his posts... just to call him out on it?

Author:	Denchi [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Jokes
Are jokes dead? I've never been good at telling/remembering jokes, I've always just been better at sarcasm. But I'm reading a book currently called "Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understand Philosophy Through Jokes." And it reminded me of how awesome jokes are. I'm just wondering if you guys have any jokes you tell regularly or ones that you just like. Here's a few from the book. They all correspond to different philosophical theories... but even out of context they're pretty good. 1. Jews don't recognize Jesus Protestants don't recognize the pope Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store. 2. An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guiness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from the next, until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "You know, they'd be less likely to go flat if you bought them one at a time." The man says, "Yeah, I know, but I have two brothers, one in the States, one in Australia. When we all went our separate ways, we promised each other that we'd all drink this way in memory of the days when we drank together. Each of these is for one of my brothers and the third is for me." The bartender is touched, and says, "What a great custom!" The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always orders the same way. One day he comes in and orders two pints. The other regulars notice, and a silence fall over the bar. When he comes to the bar for his second round, the bartender says, "Please accept my condolences, pal." The Irishman says, "Oh, no, everyone's fine. I just joined the Mormon Church, and I had to quit drinking." ok... so maybe they're not so great out of context, but dammit the book is funny! Any other jokes?

Author:	Mikey [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:
The mormon joke was funny lool

Author:	Ponuh [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:
Jokes aren't dead but you're defining joke in its very most limited capacity.

Author:	Armani [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:06 am ]
Post subject:
I'm never good at telling jokes more than a few sentences long, but its stand-up month on Comedy Central, and they have some pretty funny guys on midday.

Author:	Mikey [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:33 am ]
Post subject:
i can usually come up with some good material on my own. However its usually at my expense. Meaning i make fun of myself.

Yarr The Pirate! https://w.yarrthepirate.com/phpbb3/

Jokes https://w.yarrthepirate.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11770	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Supafly [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:13 am ]
Post subject:
Jokes only die when they stop being told. Long jokes usually aren't very good re-told so I try to keep them short and sweet. Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab. Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab. Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab. Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab. and, most importantly, Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department. next: A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: ``My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.'' The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: ``Do you like potato pancakes?'' She says ``No,'' and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, ``Do you have a brother?'' Again, the girl says ``No'' and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: ``If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?'' NEXT: http://yarrthepirate.com/v-web/bulletin ... php?t=6069 THE GREATEST JOKE EVER TOLD!!!

Author:	Ulgokiem [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:40 am ]
Post subject:
Supafly wrote: http://yarrthepirate.com/v-web/bulletin/bb/viewtopic.php?t=6069 TL;DR

Author:	Jimbean [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:51 am ]
Post subject:
better nate than lever

Author:	Kluya [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:
Mikey wrote: i can usually come up with some good material on my own. However its usually at my expense. Meaning i make fun of myself. I do that in person. I have funny stories of embarssing things I've done, that really have to be acted out for the full effect.

Author:	Ponuh [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Supafly wrote: Jokes only die when they stop being told. Long jokes usually aren't very good re-told so I try to keep them short and sweet. Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab. Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab. Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab. Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab. and, most importantly, Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department. Worst joke ever. Whoever wrote that should be shot

Author:	DeadLegend [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:
............ Someone decided to have a costume party, but it had a theme: the guests had to dress up as feelings. ..............as the guests are arriving, one walks up to the front door. He has an erection with a tire hanging off of it. ... The host is appalled, "What the hell are you dressed as?" [spoiler]I'm fuckin despair[/spoiler]

Author:	Yurichan [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:
DeadLegend wrote: ............ Someone decided to have a costume party, but it had a theme: the guests had to dress up as feelings. ..............as the guests are arriving, one walks up to the front door. He has an erection with a tire hanging off of it. ... The host is appalled, "What the hell are you dressed as?" [spoiler]I'm fuckin despair[/spoiler] haaaaah! thats awsome.

Author:	Dmitry [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:37 pm ]
Post subject:
I think better Nate than lever deserved better than the 5th reply.

Author:	Ponuh [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:37 am ]
Post subject:
15 out of 17 of Dmitry's last posts: Quote: I think better Nate than lever deserved better than the 5th reply. I'm sure he meant in an actual movie theatre. When did AT&T start offering that? Also, if you text a lot, get prepared for $200+ phone bills until you get unlimited. I won't lose any sleep over 24. So how do you decide if you have both systems? I want to order those for in advance when I move to AZ Are the stage downloads free or are they going to rip you off like PSN/Xbox market place? The fact that it's so impossible to do, it's not surprising you get random theories like that. Way to necro, fag. All we've been using my PS3 for is bluray and DVDs Damn, hope that sale is still going on. DS is region free. You bastards and with your better dollars these days thinking you're all that. I'm sad that I can't get the 5 free bluray movies because I bought a used PS3. -_- Clean that up and it'd be awesome I still haven't opened my PS3, guess I'm going to have to wait til next year. How come the GH3 controller works on the 360 then? GOOD POSTS SIR

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Author:	Yurichan [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:54 am ]
Post subject:
you actually spent the time to search his posts... just to call him out on it?

Author:	Supafly [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 3:58 am ]
Post subject:
Yurichan wrote: you actually spent the time to search his posts... just to call him out on it? He typed them all out too (or maybe he cut and pasted them). However, he didn't see Cloverfield by himself. $\:D/$

Author:	Ponuh [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 4:27 am ]
Post subject:
Yurichan wrote: you actually spent the time to search his posts... just to call him out on it? YES! AND I'D DO IT AGAIN TOO

Author:	Pazrayna [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:40 am ]
Post subject:
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? [spoiler]See you next month.[/spoiler]