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| Joke thread. Post them if you've got them! https://w.yarrthepirate.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=6980 |
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| Author: | Matti [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Joke thread. Post them if you've got them! |
Two blondes are sitting in StarBucks. One looks at the newspaper and sees the headline, "12 Brazillian Soldiers Killed In Conflict". She then looks to the other blonde and asks, "How many is a Brazillian?" |
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| Author: | Vurin [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:34 am ] |
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I LOL'd. |
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| Author: | Yarr [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:36 am ] |
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Heres my joke Matti |
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| Author: | Matti [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:40 am ] |
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Yarr wrote: Heres my joke
Matti I freaking hate you. Don't derail my thread, you cunt! What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. |
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| Author: | Jimbean [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:41 am ] |
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why do all the ladies love jesus? cuz he's hung like this... *stretches arms out* |
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| Author: | hccmike [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:52 am ] |
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BETTER NATE THAN LEVER! http://yarrthepirate.com/v-web/bulletin ... php?t=6069 |
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| Author: | Kioto [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:31 pm ] |
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Matti wrote: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese. haha, omfg, somehow that reminded me of mikey. infuckingcredible. |
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| Author: | Iolanthe [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:37 pm ] |
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here's a groaner... Why did the pervert cross the road? because his d!ck was stuck in the chicken. |
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| Author: | Iolanthe [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:39 pm ] |
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here's another one...o noes. What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door? A nun with a spear through her head. |
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| Author: | Nchynk [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 1:00 pm ] |
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what does michael jackson see in 29 year olds? there's 20 of them what did Ja Rule say to the WHM? Teleport-Holla |
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| Author: | Caduceus [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 1:04 pm ] |
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Quote:
hahaha, I almost forgot about that. |
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| Author: | Mikey [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 1:19 pm ] |
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Matti wrote: Yarr wrote: Heres my joke Matti I freaking hate you. Don't derail my thread, you cunt! What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. ROFL |
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| Author: | Purity [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 2:40 pm ] |
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Hispanic man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Hispanic man there. As he sat down,he noticed a white man behind him.The white man said,"Colored people are not allowed here." The Hispanic man turned around and stood up. He then said: "listen Pendejo....when i was born,i was BROWN," "When i grew up,i was BROWN," "When i'm sick, i'm BROWN," "When i go in the sun,i'm BROWN," "When I'm cold,i'm BROWN," "When i die, i'll be BROWN." But you pendejo...." "When you're born,you're pink," "When you grow up, you're white," "When you're sick,you're green," "When you go in the sun,you turn red," "When you're cold,you turn blue," "And when you die,you turn purple." "And you have the nerve to call me colored?" "Chinga tu madre,puto!! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila." Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Pedro looked up again and said "Never mind. I found one." |
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| Author: | Milamber [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 2:52 pm ] |
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This has been my favorite joke for awhile, but I guess I have a sick sense of humor. It was on the Hugh Hefner roast on CC, I think. This man gets a call at home from the hospital. The nurse on the phone tells the man his wife was just in a horrible car accident and he needs to come to the hospital right away. The man hurries to the hospital. When he gets there, the doctor tells him, "Man, I'm sorry, but it's pretty bad. She's going to be paralyzed from the neck down. You're going to have to do everything for her. You're going to have feed her, change her diapers, cook, clean, take care of the kids by yourself, do all the household chores. Everything." The husband starts crying hystercially, thinking to himself, "Oh man, what am I going to do? This is so horrible. My life is going to be so hard." The doctor laughs and kinda punches him in the shoulder and says, "Man, I'm just fucking with you. She's dead!" |
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| Author: | Matti [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:09 pm ] |
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| Author: | Mikey [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:12 pm ] |
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Matti wrote: OMG HAHHHAHAHHA!!!!! matti these jokes are killing me man killing me!! |
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| Author: | squintz [ Tue Oct 18, 2005 6:41 pm ] |
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What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "I'll see you in a month." Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. |
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| Author: | Whisp [ Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:56 pm ] |
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A pretty girl with no arms and no legs was out tanning by the poolside. A guy walked up to her and asked her whats up. She thought he was handsome and said, "I'm just out tanning so I can get fucked." The man took the girl and threw her into the pool and said, "There. Now you're fucked." |
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| Author: | Armani [ Tue Dec 12, 2006 10:08 pm ] |
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Iolanthe wrote: here's another one...o noes.
What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door? A nun with a spear through her head. I liked this one. The one about the no limbed girl is kinda funny too. |
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| Author: | untouchable [ Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:53 am ] |
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what do u call a school bus full of white kids? twinkie why is Hellen Keller a bad driver? because shes a woman edit squintz wrote: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. roflmao |
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| Author: | Armani [ Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:52 am ] |
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Whats the quickest way to get a dead baby down the hallway? Stick it to a pitchfork and toss it. |
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| Author: | Airenn [ Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:51 pm ] |
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why is Hellen Keller a bad driver? because shes a woman FUCK YES. Makes it even better after seeing Clerks 2. omgrofl |
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| Author: | Masterg [ Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:17 am ] |
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a pirate with a peg leg, a hook for an arm and an eye patch walks into a bar the bartender looks at him and asks "howd you get that peg leg? pirate replies "i was swimming in the ocean one day and a big white shark bit it off" then the bartender asks "howd you get that hook?" the pirate replies " i was in a great fight with captain bluebeard and he cut it right at the bone." Then the bartender asks "howd you get that eyepatch?" the pirate replied "one day i looked up and a gull pooped in my eye" "why'd you need an eyepatch after that?" the bartender asked "First day with the hook...." |
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| Author: | Jimbean [ Fri Dec 15, 2006 11:03 am ] |
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You have a donkey, I have a rooster, your donkey ate my roosters legs off... what have you got? wait for it........ i know you're saying to yourself... "this has something to do with a cock and an ass..." ready to give up yet? TWO FEET OF MY COCK IN YOUR ASS. |
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| Author: | untouchable [ Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:53 am ] |
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