(And now she whispers into the mirror:) I'm broken.

Oh doctor, doctor, can you fix me, can you fix me?

Oh Pretty Baby, you're so naive -- but it comes off so cute
We don't want to fix you
We love you just the way you are
The butterfly pinned to the page
The nightingale locked in the cage -- won't you sing for me?
Sing for me, uh-huh
Yeah, we love you just the way you are
Crushed 'neath fashion magazines
Trampled by circus pony dreams -- won't you kiss me?
Won't you kiss me, uh-huh

So cry yourself to sleep
Cry yourself to sleep 'cause I am strong and you are weak
Wait, you are strong, and I am weak
Fuck -- just cry yourself to sleep

<3 Domestica (and don't front because i know some of you motherfuckers are cursive fans too)

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jimbean.......


it was just a phonecall relax....seriously

"That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "Fuck you." I'm positive."

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Jimbean, if I were around you I'd slap you in the face and tell you to quit being a retard.

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it's alright I was half joking about all the silly emo stuff... but this is kinda what it's like. People say "oh dude what's the worse that could happen.. she says no?" but like, maybe for most people when they feel dissed are confident enough to "roll with the punch" and keep their head up. With me it takes every ounce of cajones i can muster up to even approach a girl, at least one that I'm attracted to (which very rarely happens) and i just can't deal with the dissapoint of rejection and it really fucks me up and makes me feel hopeless and insecure and angry and sad and blah blah blah, afterall, it was a girl not all the death and loss i've experience in my life that truly impacted me the most and turned me into the worthless mess i am now.

back to hating life and being miserable. fuck yeh

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o.o; /comfort

relationships = drama = no thanks

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RIP Shiloh - I'll never forget ya

k. Oh man, I'm going to let everyone know how bitchy I am

If you let yourself get that worked up over a girl who you hardly know, then maybe finding a girl isn't what you need to be doing right now. If you get suicidal thoughts and feelings over being rejected by a stranger, maybe you should be seeking a therapist instead. Letting someone you barely know impact your life that greatly is really unhealthy. And it's not about being strong enough to say 'oh well, she blew me off'. It's being sensible and saying, "Oh well. I didn't know her. Her absence had no impact on my life before this, so it's not going to make a huge difference afterwards."

It seems like you're looking for someone who you can depend on being there, so that you can feel safe secure. And that seems really selfish and isn't what a relationship is about at all. YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER PERSON TO GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO LIVE. And quite frankly, nobody is going to want to be with you as long as you're like that.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Girls like confident men who can be strong alone. If you can't do that, don't look for a girl right now. It doesn't seem like you're looking for a girlfriend anyway, but someone to hold you while you cry. And Lord help us all if you find someone exactly like you because we'll probably find two dead bodies Romeo-and-Juliet-style.

And damn, Matti's parents just came in and started talking to me and I lost my train of though. DANG.

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Mil, i think he's just asking for advice. Me may sound like he's all hung up on this girl here on the boards. But seriously doubt he would let his real feelings manifest themselves in real life. Like myself, if i have a problem or something of an issue with myself, even talking about it. I may sound like i'm letting it consume me, but in front of everyone else i'm just fine. Best advice though that i can give mister jimbo, don't show them all your cards, that would be your mistake. Also stop smoking, i want you to live a long life mister.

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Job 10: 20
The mikey's have a plan. Djay isn't all powerful.

omg i love you mikey.. yah it's just here at work my brain kinda drifts and it's easy to get lost and consumed in my own self-loathing bullshit. But irl i'm just cold as fucking ice. I haven't cried in years not even at my sister's fucking funeral. I feel so goddamn numb all the time that when i meet someone that actually makes me feel something i'm naturally drawn to them and tend to invest a lot of hope in it... and you're right that i'm not neccesarily looking for a girlfriend... but i'm not looking for someone to hold me while i cry either.. i'm looking for someone who makes me feel normal. who i am attracted to and is attracted to me, i'm so goddamn sick of analyzing myself and wondering wtf is wrong with my talents and physical appearance and personality that keeps anyone with a vagina that is even the slightest bit attractive away. Then I look at my life, and all the happy couples and all my friends getting married and how i'm 26 and not getting any younger and work a fulltime job and live out my worthless fucking existance everyday trying so goddamn hard to love myself and turn myself into something that someone would actually want to be with and everytime i build myself up i get knocked down.. i just want to move into the next stage of my fucking life already.. which means finding my wife and kids, it's all i've wanted for a looong long time, and yah not finding it everyday and getting dumped every fucking day kinda makes me a little sad and grumpy and bitter so apologies for that. and I'm not being irrational about this situation i've been dissed enough to smell it when it's coming from 3 states over...

and that's real

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You are normal fucker. Theres nothing wrong with someone seeking advice, just prepare yourself for people being criticial.

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Job 10: 20
The mikey's have a plan. Djay isn't all powerful.

Jim, come to Texas. I'll give you a thoughts/feelings bootcamp irl.

And Mikey, you're blind.

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Mil's a rough woman, me likey lawl.

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Job 10: 20
The mikey's have a plan. Djay isn't all powerful.

i editted my first response.

oh and I'd like to just say as well that this is the lonely me.. this is all coming from a man who hasn't been with a girl that made him feel anything other than disgust and hopelessness for nearly 6 fucking years now. Trust me, when I'm pursuing someone I'm interested in i'm much much happier, outgoing, funny person. And don't talk to me about strength, with all the shit i've been through in my life i have more strength in my little finger than most people do in their whole family.

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one problem i face is that girls are always so fucking paranoid. they think every guy out there is sex-crazed. and its not without reason because theyre almost right. but what it does to me is it makes me try harder to come across as someone who isn't sex-crazed. and by that i mean i never complement them, i never ask them out, i never go out of my way to approach any, i just leave them the hell alone. cause thats what they want. if a girl comes up to me i won't ignore them, but i will just treat them businesslike. there's no way i'll ever have a g/f again with this mindset, but that's something i've basically come to accept. and i dont care either. having a g/f was really uncomforable for me because they were always in my personal space, always requiring my attention, i'd have to spend so much money on activities and shit, and trying to deal with girls' emotions was more than i have energy for.

another problem i face is that i would only date a very particular kind of girl. there are 6 traits that would automatically count a girl out for me.
1-if a girl isn't extremely smart
2-if a girl eats meat or dairy
3-if a girl is fat
4-if a girl likes any kind of retarded popular culture like country rap r&b or pop music or anything
5-if a girl is religious
6-or if a girl has bitchy mood swings..
if any one of those applies, it's an automatic no for me. i dont feel like "settling" for someone who breaks one of those conditions. anything else in the world i'm not picky about. and on top of that if i do meet someone who actually fits all those traits, i still would probably rather just be friends.

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RIP Shiloh - I'll never forget ya

how am i blind mil?

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Job 10: 20
The mikey's have a plan. Djay isn't all powerful.

Whisp.. holy shit, that's exactly what I'm like too, I mean I am this sad mopey pathetic person because I haven't been able to "find anyone" the truth is there's plenty of girls who're more than willing to love me unconditionally, but they don't fit any of my criteria (which is very similar to yours except even more specific but not as anal about eating habits) I guess I just love to use myself as a means to my own end by blindly denying myself what i want and blaming other folks for it

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running ’round my brain
I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign
But it’s my destiny to be the king of pain

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This is so true. She's rough and she completely opposite of me wen it comes to situations like this. I'm more like Jim and she's....well...she's Mil. Having her input and thoughts like this really make me see things differently. Whether I agree with her or not is irrelvant but it opens up other thought processes and pretty much just keeps me under control. :P

behind every great man stands a great woman.. or so they say

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lol, this makes me think the woman is there to take out the man's kneecaps so he's no longer standing if he acts stupid. ^_^;;

Whisp ummmm don't you think that's a little too much to ask for? Seriously, I never met a girl without one of those traits. So ur saying ur a vegetarian?

Jim, ummm I dunno wat to say lol. I haven't been single for longer than 3 months in my short life. Ummm but yeah u oughta find a girl soon enough. Its jus like they say, there's sumone out there for everyone.

call her again. i rarely ever check my voicemail, even when i know that i have new messages.

one more try can't hurt.

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The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Cut her head off!

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WSNM: Tachi: Kasha, Blade: Ku, Steel Cyclone, Decimation, Evisceration, Black Halo, Retribution, Savage Blade, Impulse Drive, Ground Strike.

Agreed. Don't leave messages ever unless you're on good enough terms to recieve a call back. The fact that you left a message means you shouldn't call for like another week. If you call again so soon, it just looks like you're needy. Life sucks, but you need to balls to be able to punch it in the throat and stand by yourself before you can expect someone to stand with you.

just a little update for everyone. ^-^ my friend called me at work today around 3ish saying that she had just spoke to her and she wanted us all to hang out tonight. I had a really fucking amazing time and think she may have felt the same way. omgz o.O wtf this can't really be happening... can it?

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